After witnessing years of mistreatment toward her nephew, one woman decided enough was enough.
She cut off most of her extended family from future invites to her home, kids’ events, and family gatherings.
And to make sure they knew why, she sent an email laying it all out.
Read on for the story.
AITA for sending most of my extended family an email stating why they are never invited to things anymore?
I (36f) made the (not so) difficult decision to no longer invite my extended family to dinner, parties, school events for my kids, etc.
The one exception is my nephew Jamie (18). He is my elder sister’s eldest.
He moved in with my husband and myself for a while before he turned 18 to get away from his parents and younger brother (17).
Some context/bg. When Jamie was born his parents genuinely seemed to love him.
And they appeared, to a younger me, to be good parents.
That changed as soon as his younger brother was born.
Suddenly my sister and BIL talked about Jamie as a nightmare, said he was an awful baby, they hated every moment with him and his younger brother was an angel and perfect.
That’s quite the drastic difference!
This attitude continued.
Jamie wasn’t a misbehaving kid or “feral” like he was described, but he ran around, got dirty, made noise and messes like most little kids.
But this was treated like something awful.
His younger brother was quiet, neat, etc, etc.
They would always compare Jamie to his brother to shame him into being different.
If he spilled something they’d scold him. If he got messy they’d reprimand him harshly for it.
The rest of my extended family started acting the same. Jamie couldn’t do anything right.
He sneezed, it was too loud. He fell, he was being reckless/careless.
Let kids be kids, right?
And the praise for his brother was insane.
Like yeah, he was a quieter and calmer kid but Jamie wasn’t destroying things or stealing, yelling, cursing, etc.
Even having too much fun got Jamie negative attention and I was told to shut up whenever I’d defend him or tell people to lay off.
I took it upon myself to be there for Jamie as much as I could.
The older the boys got the harder it got because Jamie also had his brother trying to get him into trouble or berating him for things.
I hated seeing it but I knew I needed to be there for Jamie and avoiding it would do no good.
Nobody showed up for Jamie except for me.
I was often the only family member (except for when I married and had kids) who made an appearance at school plays and the likes.
No wonder he acts like he does…
When Jamie moved in with us, and got his freedom, I decided it was time to do the same.
My family kept asking me about coming over and when were my kids things.
Nobody asked about Jamie. Or they’d want to know about parties for the kids.
I let it all pile up and then I decided to send an email to the extended family outlining how disgusting their behavior toward Jamie had been and how that meant they would no longer receive any invitations from me.
I got a lot of negativity back with people saying I shouldn’t take HIS side when he’s a bratty little brat who deserved everything he got.
I don’t regret defending Jamie BUT did I handled this badly?
AITA?
After sending the email, this aunt is facing backlash and wondering if her blunt approach was too much.
Still, her loyalty to Jamie hasn’t wavered.
Reddit is on her side.
This person says NTA but has a bone to pick:
This person is grateful for people who take people like this boy under their wing.
And this person thinks she handled it flawlessly.
Looks like hitting “send” on that email invited more drama than any family event ever could!
But it probably needed to be done.
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