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“The court system is still broken, and your divorce agreement means nothing and can be changed at any time. As part of my divorce agreement, I took almost no money, gave up my share of the home we purchased together, and didn’t make us split most assets as I knew I could always rebuild a bank account through work. I also did this to make sure I had protections and guarantees against my ex trying to cause issues with my visitation with my daughters (13 and 15). Within a few months of the divorce being finalized, I started getting filings to have our agreement modified concerning the visitation. In the first year, I spent over $20,000 between flying out to see my daughters and flying them out to see me.”
“Nonetheless, my ex took me to court to reduce my visitation rights. It started by limiting the available holidays, then extended breaks (winter, spring, etc.). Each time, the courts kept saying that because I had to relocate for work, if I wanted visitation, I should just quit my job and move back — even though if I did this, they would have lost the house if I quit my job and couldn’t pay support. It got to the point that my ex was telling my daughter’s lies about me wanting to see them and lying in court papers as well. At one point, I said that if I was an unfit father but still lived in the state, they would give me better visitation rights — just supervised — and they didn’t deny that. This entire thing has hurt my relationship with my daughters, which was always an important part of my life.”
—44, Arizona
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