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“What started as an intense, whirlwind romance changed into an abusive relationship as soon as we arrived in the new country. It became a method to isolate me from my friends and family, leaving me with no one to share my feelings with, no one who could raise an alarm about my situation. We were in a country where I couldn’t speak the language, couldn’t decipher the buses, had no means of transportation, and knew no one. I put myself in that situation, believing I was proving my love and demonstrating my trust in him. Upon arrival, I had no phone, no internet, no one knew my whereabouts, and I had no money as I couldn’t access my bank. I was completely dependent on him, and he exploited this to control me.”
“Every moment became about him, and he held me responsible for all his needs. If I didn’t please him with a good meal, respond to a question in the “correct” way, walk in a manner he liked, or spent too long in the shower, he would lecture me for HOURS about how I was such a disappointment, but now he was stuck with me, and then he would ignore me—sometimes for days. If I truly displeased him, he would leave me in the flat and disappear, leaving me with no food or money. It took me years to realize that this wasn’t just an unhappy marriage; this was abuse. In fact, I didn’t recognize it until years after I finally left. He eventually “fell in love” with someone else and moved her into our home. I tried to warn her, but she was blinded by him. He gave me money to go home to visit my family so he could be alone with her but expected me to return. I didn’t return and haven’t seen him since. I regret it 100%. I put myself in a vulnerable position where I was wholly dependent on him. And I wasted over a decade of my life in that marriage and healing afterward.”
—Anonymous
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