The simple answer: You never know what someone else is going through and why they’re eating what they’re eating, Brittney Lauro, lead therapist at eating disorder treatment platform Equip, told HuffPost.
Someone could be dealing with or recovering from an eating disorder, for example, and Lauro said remarking on how healthy they’re eating or that they’re “being good” by eating vegetables could come across as praise for their condition.
People might also have health conditions where dietary changes, such as giving up gluten or going plant-based, are necessary, explained Melissa Preston, a licensed professional counselor, registered dietitian and co-founder at Omni Counseling and Nutrition in Denver, Colorado.
Beyond health, people from different cultures may have experienced shaming around what they eat in the past, and comments can cause these feelings to resurface, Preston added.
The bottom line is, Baker said, “There’s no way of knowing how someone will interpret a comment about food, even if there are good intentions behind it.”
6 Things You Should Never Say To People You’re Dining With
While Lauro said she believes most comments about what others eat are well-meaning, she said, generally, it’s best to avoid remarking on it. Here are some phrases that you should never say to the people you’re dining with:
“I would never eat ___.”
Pointing out how you avoid eating whatever is on someone’s plate, for whatever reason, could make them feel shamed, Preston said. It also reinforces diet culture and can seem like you’re comparing your body to theirs, Baker added, especially if you say something like, “I could never eat that much sugar, or I’d gain weight.”
“You’re not going to eat all of that, are you?”
Statements like this can make someone feel judged about their eating choices, Attia said. Also, avoid commenting on your own plate size or fullness—“I ate too much,” for instance — which might make someone feel self-conscious about what they ate, Baker said.
“Oh, you’re being good (or bad) today.”
Avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad” or “healthy” or “unhealthy,” Lauro said. For example, if you say, “Isn’t that unhealthy to eat for breakfast,” it could foster a sense of shame and be triggering for some people. She emphasized the “all foods fit” concept, meaning there’s room for all foods in someone’s diet. “Nothing’s off limits unless, of course, you have a food allergy,” she said.
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