AITA For Wanting Wedding Gift Back

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But then, people also thought the OP (original poster) should just let her friend keep the gift after all that she went through with her fiancé.

“I think your feeling that YWBTA is exactly correct. From a purely transactional point of view, you are NTA for asking for it back. If we were all emotionless robots, I’d say go for it. However, from a friendship/emotional point of view, certainly, you will be the AH if you do ask. She’s very close to you and going through a very difficult time in her life. This would be the last thing she needs and will probably drive a wedge in your relationship. She also really loved the gift! Let her keep the chair, and if she approaches you wanting to return it, then take some time to consider it. Consider the money gone — money comes and goes. Quality friendships, on the other hand, may be once in a lifetime.”


“I’m going to say YWBTA only ’cause the wedding got broken off because her fiancé cheated, and this is really kicking her while she’s down. I know people here are saying it’s etiquette to return the gift if the wedding doesn’t happen, but how many people are really giving gifts before the wedding takes place? Also, I was very unaware of this wedding ‘etiquette.’ If you give a gift before the wedding, you already gave the gift. And in my mind, a gift is a gift is a gift. Full stop. If someone could explain to me why that is the etiquette, I would appreciate it ’cause I feel like I’m missing something.”


“I don’t think you should ever give a gift you would expect to get back under certain circumstances. I can see in the case of a family heirloom engagement ring where the other person is the one to break the engagement that you could expect them to give it back, but that’s the only circumstance I can really see an expectation of giving the gift back being reasonable. Yeah, it is wedding etiquette to give gifts back if the wedding is called off, but the gift giver shouldn’t really expect that or ask for it.”


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