“Hydrated Obama be like, ‘Let me pee clear.'” View Entire Post › Source link ...

I told my mom that her apple pie tasted a little weird this year, and she goes “Really? I always use the same recipe. The nutmeg was a bit clumpy, maybe it didn’t blend well…” She takes out the jar ...

“I told her I would have appreciated it if she would’ve glanced at the table first or approached us with a question instead of assuming we were running out on the bill.” View Entire Post › Source link ...

“I didn’t want to wash the sink, so I spray painted it white.” View Entire Post › Source link ...

“We read a case about a man who left everything to his wife, but only if she got his body stuffed and left it on the living room couch forever.” View Entire Post › Source link ...