“I Don’t Understand Why People Act Like It’s A Big Deal”: People Are Sharing The Relationship Red Flags They Secretly Don’t Consider Deal Breakers

The term “red flag” has developed over the years when it comes to dating and relationships. It used to be a quick way to describe an actually alarming quality about someone, but now, it’s evolved into a blanket term to call out anything we just don’t like personally.

With this modern definition, one person’s red flag could be another person’s green (or even beige) flag. Knowing this made me curious to see the responses on this thread from AskReddit where u/Cerseiriously asked, “What’s a red flag you don’t mind so much in a potential S.O.?” Here are some of the hottest takes:

1. “Someone who doesn’t like animals. Some people believe they must have no soul. They could’ve had a traumatic experience with one or just have a phobia.”

2. “Having friends of the opposite sex. I don’t understand why people act like it’s a big deal.”

—u/molwalk

“A lot of people are sexist as hell and think the only reason you’d spend time with someone of the opposite sex is because you’re hoping to bone.”

—u/stottageidyll

3. “I don’t mind some mild (MILD!) possessiveness. In fact, I think it’s kind of hot. I blame all the Wattpad stories I consumed during my formative years.”

—u/_hootyowlscissors

4. “I find the lack of social media extremely attractive. There is nothing less appealing than a guy begging for likes.”

5. “Being with someone meaner than me. My wife will always let the restaurant know when my order is wrong.”

—u/ingres_violin

6. “Someone who can’t cook. I prefer to have total management of the kitchen.”

—u/IamTheShark

“I’m the same, but with kitchen cleaning. There’s my method of cleaning, and then there’s all the wrong ones.”

—u/dynamicdickpunch

7. “Someone who needs their space — maybe even a lot of space. I describe my perfect relationship model as a Binary Star system. I’ve unfortunately found that a lot of people are a little too protective or possessive for me.”

8. “Being ‘high maintenance.’ I’ve heard it used to describe women who are obsessed with their appearance and take hours to get ready for a night out. That doesn’t bother me at all. I’ll sit and chat with them while they do their makeup and hair. It’s a peaceful time to unwind together and check in with one another before we go out for the night.”

—u/Peelfest2016

9. “Needing constant reassurance. Any opportunity to increase a partner’s self-esteem or provide affirmations is fine with me.”

—u/Sareth740

10. “Needy. I’ll take needy over uninterested.”

11. “Someone who isn’t close to their own family. I’m not close with mine, either. I’d actually think it was refreshing to be with someone who understood and felt the same way.”

—u/JoeyTepes

12. “Not being very communicative or chatty through text. Some people simply aren’t into texting. I dated a guy who was like that. At first, I took his lack of communication and short answers as not being interested. In reality, he simply wasn’t much of a texter. I just accepted that’s how he was because he was great in person!”

—u/sweet_dream515

13. “Someone who’s been single for a long time! Some people never figure out who they are on their own.”

14. “Being broke and somewhat dependent. I’ve never been with someone who had their shit together perfectly. Unless they want me to mommy them, then I’m fine with it.”

—u/Primary-Plantain-758

15. “I can be inconsistent at responding to texts, and I like people who are the same way. Being glued to your phone and expecting constant communication is unhealthy in my opinion. If it’s urgent, call me!”

—u/atelier__lingo

16. “Being overly absorbed in their hobbies or work. I love that. Go wild!”

17. And finally, “When someone is controlling and wants things done their way. I don’t mind it because it ends up being less on my plate.”

—u/Square-Bodybuilder85

Okay, what are the random “red flags” that you’re cool with? I’ll go first: I don’t think talking during a movie is a red flag. I know some people do, and those people will break up with you over it…and it’s fine because they aren’t fun to watch Shrek 2 with anyway. Let me know yours in the comments!