“I was in the Navy at the time and had been married for just over five years. I was currently on shore duty, so no deployments or anything in the previous year or so. Things weren’t the greatest in the marriage, but things seemed to be holding on…or so I thought. We were planning a week-long road trip with my buddy, who was also my supervisor. A bunch of us in the shop were into beer brewing, and we planned to hit as many craft breweries as we could. Just before the trip, we had a big argument, and she was all over my buddy. It turned into a grade-A cluster, and we ended up separated by the end of the night.”
“She stayed over at our mutual friend’s house where the get-together was, and I headed to our house (a block or so away). Next morning, she gives me the ‘I don’t love you the same way any more, and I have feelings for your buddy instead’ speech. At that point, we were all mad, and I told her to get out and do whatever the hell she wanted to do. So, they went on the road trip while I stayed home and dealt with my anger. I had some time to think about things, and I realized that the relationship had been going down hill, and I pretty much got to a level of acceptance with it.
End of the week, they get back. He’s sitting there apologizing in tears, she’s explaining that it wasn’t intended, and I’m just at the point of ‘take your crap and leave,’ so that’s how the night ended. Next Monday, we’re both back at work. He’s still my supervisor, so we are dealing with that. Our higher-ups were told what was going on and offered to transfer one of us, but we declined. We decided that home was home and work was work, and we would let them know if it changed.
Now the fun stuff! The divorce started. In California, at the time, there was basically a six-month period between filing and finalization. We worked together that entire time and even attended functions at other friends’ places, etc. Overall, the divorce was amicable, as we both realized there was no hope of trying to keep it together. Heck, for most of that period, the majority of our coworkers still had no idea what had happened. We kept it from becoming a huge conversation item.
Some of the key fun bits that happened during that six-months: She called and asked if they could have the dresser that I kept so they could have the matching set. I said sure, but I needed a dresser, so they cleaned up the one he had and we just swapped them out. I bought a car that needed to be towed, so I borrowed his truck to run it home overnight and we swapped cars for the day. Once they started planning a wedding, he found out his brother wasn’t going to be able to make it out, so I was asked to be an alternate for the best man in the event he couldn’t get someone else. Yes, really. Another person volunteered. I did house-sit for them while they went on a honeymoon. She took the dog and I could watch the dog without any trouble, so I did that. Her mom had moved in with us earlier that year and still lived at my house for another two months after the divorce was final.
Shortly after their wedding, he got transferred to another ship, so I have no idea what happened after that. We were fortunate that we didn’t have kids, so there was no reason to ever speak again. Haven’t talked to them since (that was in 1995). Couldn’t even tell you where they live nowadays. So, I went through the betrayal/loss of trust period, but ultimately managed to get through it and am now happily remarried (about to hit our 25th anniversary). A good learning experience.”