8.
“My brother was one of the groomsmen at a friend’s wedding. It was a typical college sweetheart story — the bride and groom had dated all through college, and he had proposed on their graduation day. Everything was all set for a beautiful summer wedding. However, the bride-to-be was having doubts. She had only ever had sex with one man, her fiancé, and knew that the groom-to-be was in the same situation.”
“Apparently, she had been reading a lot of ‘Sex and your Marriage’ self-help books, and she had come to the conclusion that lack of sexual experience was the number one destroyer of marriages.
So she came to my brother’s friend (the groom-to-be) with the idea that they participate in a foursome, or a partner swap, with the best man and maid of honor, their two best friends, the night before the wedding.
Brilliant, right? I swear you can’t make this shit up. The groom-to-be fights the idea for a while, but his fiancé threatens to call off the wedding if he doesn’t go through with it. He talks with his best friend, and he reluctantly agrees. She talks with her best friend, and she reluctantly agrees. Everybody’s in (no pun intended).
So the night before the wedding comes, and the four are getting plastered at the happy couple-to-be’s apartment. Here’s where shit goes down. Apparently, the groom drinks too much and can’t get it up (at least that’s what he says happened), and what essentially occurs that night is a threesome between the maid of honor, the bride-to-be, and the best man.
The groom-to-be, humiliated and distraught, leaves the apartment in the middle of the trio’s lovemaking and drunk drives his car straight into a freeway median.
The wedding’s called off due to the accident, and the groom ends up paralyzed from the waist down.
Great guy, the paralyzed would-be groom. My brother and I play pick-up with him once or twice a month at the local rec center. (My brother was not the best man, FYI.) The groom doesn’t like to talk about anything that happened, and I’m pretty sure he and his would-be best man don’t talk anymore. I saw the bride at an X-mas party my parents threw a few years ago; her parents are family friends. I think she’s married and has shat out a kid or two.”
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