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Decisiveness is not a quality that comes naturally to everyone. But if making decisions, big and small, feels overwhelming or impossible for you and/or your partner, it could be a sign of deeper instability in the relationship, Northey said.
“A minor example would be that a couple cannot agree on where and when to vacation, so they never go,” she said. “Or they rarely go out, because they cannot decide on what to do so they default to staying in.”
Indecision on a bigger level could be a couple who is unable to decide where to live or, more seriously, unsure about how committed they are to one another and the relationship.
“In a marriage, they may go back and forth about wanting to separate or stick it out. Generally, with indecision, there is a pattern of frustrating back and forth when they are trying to make meaningful decisions,” Northey said. “This can be because either one or both of them do not have a good grasp of what makes them happy, or one or both are unconsciously sabotaging getting along. It could also mean they are fundamentally incompatible.”
Northey’s advice? “Start recognizing patterns of indecision and figure out their roots to make sure that nothing is getting in the way of a healthy attachment.”
This post originally appeared on HuffPost.
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