2.
“‘Do you want comfort or to look for solutions?’ Both things are helpful, but there’s a time and place for each. I sometimes wanted to yell at my husband, ‘Bruh, stop trying to solve this and just let me bitch for a second.’ Just validate my feelings (or not and tell me why) and then be there for me UNLESS I’m asking you to help fix it. Also, be with someone who will tell you the truth. I adore my husband. If he told me that I was being a jerk, I wouldn’t accuse him of name-calling; I’d look at my actions and decide whether I was, in fact, being a jerk. Why? Because I trust him not to gaslight me, I trust him to want me to be my best self; I know that he is a kind and not malicious person, so there’s something there if he felt he needed to say it.”
“Be with someone who is going to have the hard conversations with you, about you, and with you, not just with your partner but with your beloved friends. If I hold you close, I am going to hold you accountable and call you out.”
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