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Another user agreed that the bride wasn’t the asshole, but defended the sister-in-law’s hurt feelings about the situation:
“First, yes, you’re not the asshole. Your wedding, your rules. Second, it was wrong of you to say she’d ‘enjoy’ a night off. It was great to offer to help secure childcare, but it may still not feel like a ‘night off’ for her. You aren’t saying how old the kids are (or if they’re also your brother’s—the wording is weird). She could be pumping, breastfeeding, or introducing solids, or any number of things happening where it’s not a joy to be away from them and adds to her mental load. There’s a lot missing about maybe why she called you heartless. She’s entitled to her feelings as much as you’re entitled to a child-free wedding.”
—starrylightway
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