17.
“After a night of drinking, we went back to her place and started making out. She kinda abruptly shoved her hand down my pants and muttered under her breath ‘please don’t be small, please don’t be small’ and then ‘oh thank god, you’re huge!’ It was a nice little compliment, but still a little weird that she was talking to herself out loud like that. Then we started to have sex and I felt something hard. I was like, ‘this is great, but there’s something inside you,’ and she bolted for the bathroom. She came back without an explanation. After we both finished, she said, ‘I wasn’t sure if you were going to be here when I came out, but I’m glad you were, and by the way good job!’ Then she high fived me.”
“We never got together after that, so there wasn’t a chance for us to improve together. But I’m married now, and it’s a lot less weird with my spouse. My main takeaway is that people are weird. Find your weirdo, and then the weird moments will feel much more normal — but normal doesn’t mean boring if you’re with the right person!”
—Anonymous
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