12.
“I always thought we were just work friends. I knew he was married, and he always mentioned his wife with a smile, so I never thought about him in that way (and for a long time, I wasn’t attracted to him at all). However, we started spending lots of time together due to work, and somehow, we found in each other what we were missing in our SOs through long and interesting conversations. We ended up confessing our feelings to each other but said that nothing could happen as we were both taken. However, I guess hormones took over, and we started getting physical.”
“I remember feeling extremely guilty after every kiss but also excited, like I am finally alive. I ended it after I went to his apartment and saw pictures of his wife. That’s when I finally realized that she was a real person, not just someone from his stories, and I was just disgusted by myself.
He still tried to contact me, and we met one time after that, but then one interesting thing happened — I found out my SO was cheating. The pain and heartbreak I experienced when I found out (and I am still heartbroken) is something that can not be described. I would have never imagined the pain to be so strong.
I immediately cut all ties with the married man, told him to never contact me again, and to focus on his marriage and his wife. It still haunts me that if she found out, she would be crushed just like I was crushed. I would never want to give that pain to anyone, and the thought that I may have caused that intense life-changing pain to his wife is just disturbing. I still have nightmares of what I have done. I probably will regret that all my life.”
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