27 Coworkers People Will Literally Never, Ever Forget

27 Coworkers People Will Literally Never, Ever Forget


“Back in the day where dial-up internet ruled, I worked for a large airline. One of my coworkers would often work late, and apparently, he liked to surf porn. He later explained to me that this was because the airline paid for wired broadband, so he could surf at high speed.”

“Anyway, he worked late one night and went about his (apparently) regular late-night porn surf. He was especially fond of erotic stories featuring young Asian women. You may be wondering how I know this: It was because he printed these stories (to take home later?) and in his post-whack daze, left them on the printer.

So, the following morning, the Christianity-as-a-lifestyle lady that sat directly next to the printer got a fun bonus when she went to print something — a thick stack of erotica. To give context to her outrage, this is a woman who would take her breaks to pray, kept multiple pictures of Jesus at her desk, and would wedge bible verses into conversation.

Oddly, this didn’t get the gentleman fired. … The head of our department promised David that next time, he would be fired. To go along with that, David was now under constant scrutiny. Whenever David left the office for any length of time, the head of the department would wander over and start probing David’s machine for incriminating evidence. This put a big damper in David’s private internet time, at least for a little while. Six months later, the heat had died down quite a bit, and David started right back up again. His desires had apparently shifted, and now young Asian women no longer sufficed. His preferences had migrated to photos of barely legal Asians. No doubt you realize how I knew this — yes, buried several folders deep, David was keeping his digital spank-bank on his company owned computer.

If you think this is the point where the story ends, and David gets the pink-slip, you’d be wrong. Our mutual employers desire to fire him was only equaled by their desperate need for qualified employees. So, David stayed. The head of the department told him that next time, he would most certainly be fired.

As is often the case with companies, the airline we worked for was owned by an even larger company. … The folks working at the parent company…treated everyone at the airline with a casual disregard that would shock royalty. … David ended up working with a member of the IT department for the parent company. While they worked together on some connectivity project, the guy from the parent company made it a point to insult David, David’s work, and the network it ran on. … David took this as a challenge, and went about running a just recently released NTLM password cracker on the parent company’s network. To no one’s surprise, David was able to harvest a large portion of the parent company’s usernames and passwords. The next time those parent company guys gave David any crap, he was going to show them.

A few days later, David ended up back on the phone with the same IT guy from the parent company. As expected, he was just as abusive to David as ever. David pulled out his secret weapon, and told the IT guy in intimate detail how easy it was for him to get the parent company’s passwords, and how their network wasn’t any more secure than the airline’s. 

The next day, David, our department head, and the CEO of the airline went into an office, and David was unceremoniously shit-canned. The IT guy from the parent company had labeled David as a hacker and went to the head of the parent company to make sure David’s career was over. Not satisfied with simply terminating David, the FBI was also called in to look into the hacking, as well as allegations that David was trafficking in child pornography. That’s right, David’s cache of barely-legal porn was now the subject of an FBI investigation. His coworkers were compelled to give statements to the feds, and his direct supervisor, when asked about the ages of the women in David’s porno stash, emphatically replied, ‘With Asian girls, you never can tell!’

The feds were never able, or never interested in building a case against David, and he quietly moved on to other work.”


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