From his Gen Z clients, Jackson hears concerns about erection issues and “nervousness with anal sex in general,” particularly among the queer, cisgender men he sees, “whether it be topping, bottoming, or not wanting to do either.”
“We live in a culture of shame, unfortunately, that assigns value judgment based on what your body looks like, and perceived sexual prowess,” he said.
“What I mean by this, for example, is that based on how you look, someone may assign a sexual script to you before you even have the chance to introduce yourself. If you somehow don’t fit the mold that was created for you, then it’s likely that you’ll be mistreated or shamed just for being yourself, which of course could lead to increased anxiousness as you’re trying to have sex or be intimate with someone.”
When working with clients dealing with performance anxiety, Jackson often asks them first about their early models for sexual behavior. And though comprehensive sex education has become more accessible over the last decade, “there are still very pervasive and harmful messages about sex and intimacy that are deeply embedded within our culture that won’t fade out for quite some time,” he said.
In their sessions, Jackson said he’s listening for generalizations and judgments and “gets curious with them around what has informed those beliefs in being true,” he said.
Sometimes, he’ll even open up about his own experiences with erectile dysfunction or sex-related anxiety “in an attempt to reveal that what we go through in isolation is more common than we initially believe,” he said.
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
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