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All in all, it’s really tough to frequently deal with someone who uses the controlling, manipulative behavior mentioned above.
To cope, Riaz said it’s important to seek therapy. “A good therapist will help you recognize, ‘Wow, it sounds like you’re really struggling, you’re trying everything you can — maybe it’s not you,’” Riaz said. Therapy can help you decide what you want to do about this relationship while processing the impact it has on you.
“You need to set boundaries so that you can maintain a healthy relationship with the person,” Cwynar said. If this is a person you need to have in your life, it’s important to have boundaries to protect yourself from them.
It’s also important to have a support system, whether that’s family, friends or a church group, said Riaz. You need folks you can count on and talk to about the things going on in your life. If you don’t have this kind of support, it’s important to create it by joining local groups, signing up for clubs and meeting new people, Riaz added.
When it comes to the toxic relationship itself, “If you can walk away, I would definitely say walk away,” Riaz said. But she acknowledged that it’s not always possible to do so, like if you co-parent with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder or have a narcissistic boss at a high-paying job that you can’t leave.
“So, either we can walk away and do no contact, or we can have really strong boundaries and have low contact,” Riaz said.
In the end, it’s important that you take care of your physical and emotional needs. “Understanding the ‘why’ behind abusive behavior does not excuse the impact and harmful nature of the behavior on your well-being,” Grosso said.
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-866-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522 for the National Dating Abuse Helpline.
This post originally appeared on HuffPost.
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