“I always know there is a quality of deadness in a couple who comes for therapy where one partner isn’t at all worried about pleasing the other person. In a healthy relationship, we’re supposed to be aware of what pleases our partner and, at least part of the time, try to accommodate their desires. It’s of course always a question of balance: We don’t live to please our partner, but we’re not indifferent to our partner’s needs, wishes, desires. It goes a long way in a relationship when we know our partner is paying attention to what we need, even if it doesn’t always work out.” ― Begel
8. When you don’t get your way, you threaten to end the relationship — even if you don’t mean it.
“Even in the very best of relationships, none of us is always going to get what we need. If you spend your time threatening to leave your partner, how can they ever grow to trust that it isn’t always going to be about you and your needs? Someone who genuinely loves their partner is going to be mature enough and have enough self-awareness to know that it is extremely hurtful to threaten to abandon someone we love just because we don’t get our way.” ― Brown
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
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