Try self-soothing techniques.
“For someone who finds themself feeling irritable on a regular basis, mindfulness and deep breathing exercises can be helpful in calming down the nervous system,” Stuempfig said. “Sensory activities focusing on what we hear, smell, taste and feel in the moment can help reduce irritability by decreasing time spent worrying about past or future events.”
From meditation and yoga to painting and gardening, there are countless sensory activities that adults can try. Even dancing and listening to music can be mindful practices.
Raines similarly recommended focusing on your five senses as a way to self-soothe in moments of stress. For example, you might touch something soft, tap your fingers, take deep breaths, smell something scented or focus on staring at a piece of art on the wall.
“Notice the environment you are in through each of the five senses or the ones that are open to you,” she said.
Take stock of big areas of your life.
“If you find yourself frequently having angry reactions out of proportion to the source, it can be helpful to take inventory of the major areas of your life and consider where the unmet needs may be,” Stuempfig said. “Are there past traumatic events that have been stored up and not fully addressed or processed? Are there past losses that have not been acknowledged? Is there tension in a relationship that needs to be relieved and worked through?”
She advised asking yourself if financial or job-related concerns are impacting your overall level of stress, or if you’re feeling isolated and lonely in life.
“Recognize that your ‘emotional bucket’ is getting filled quickly and take some time to reflect on why that might be,” said clinical psychologist Zainab Delawalla. “Even if everything seems fine on the surface, it’s possible you’re operating just below your threshold and don’t have a healthy buffer to be able to deal with momentary setbacks. There needs to be some room for the day to unfold as it might and for you to be able to tackle it in a way that doesn’t derail you.”
Just keeping things “under control” and expecting everything to play out as planned is not a sustainable approach as unplanned changes and issues inevitably arise. Addressing the bigger issues bubbling under the surface will give you the bandwidth to react to those unexpected moments in a healthy way.
Reach out to loved ones.
“Feeling upset is very different from the feelings being accompanied by outbursts,” Raines said. “When the anger and frustration is accompanied by outbursts or other difficult behaviors, being able to have support in finding ways to manage is helpful.”
Even just talking to a friend about your experience can provide a helpful sense of support. This is true in general, as well as in the moment of overreaction.
“Call someone you trust to vent or process what you’re feeling,” Henry suggested.
Reach out to loved ones if you feel like your emotions have gotten overwhelming and are leading to behavioral changes. You might even realize your reactions are related to communication issues that you need to address.
“Two common themes that can result in chronic irritability is resentment toward others as well as difficulty communicating about getting one’s emotional needs met, factors that are often interrelated,” Stuempfig said. “It is very common for people to struggle with expressing themselves and therefore internalizing their feelings. This can lead to a build up of resentment and rather than asking for what they need, they continue to feel dissatisfied and have a high baseline level of anger and irritability.”
Talk to a professional.
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