“I met up with a guy whose picture was kind of enigmatic — arty, half-light, half-shadow — and what you learn about that is, it’s never good. He was very strange-looking, in a way that maybe needed medical attention. I called a friend to come meet me out at the bar and pretend we ran into each other and desperately needed to catch up.” ― Virginia Jones, a comedian and the host of the podcast “My Sister’s a Therapist”
The Little Liar
“I just want to say right out of the gate, I’m not a height queen. His profile showed an athletic, fitness-driven, optimizer-of-photo-angles, responsible dad of two children who are at an age where they no longer need to live in the home (optimal sitch). He had hats on in every photo, so I did wonder if he had hair. He also said he was 5-foot-10, which in man math equates to 5-foot-7 or 5-foot-8. But otherwise, he looked good.
“We met at his country club in the restaurant and he didn’t stand at my entrance, which I thought was odd. He also had very small shoulders.
“The main problem was, he started spewing out information at me like he was the director of the Jan. 6 [2021] riots and was looking to bring on new recruits. While I was waiting for him to take a breath to let him know that maybe we had a difference in political affiliations, a waitress came by who had just come on shift, and seemed quite friendly with my date. He stood up to say hello, and he maxed out at 5 feet flat, tops 5-foot-2. He finished his hello with the waitress and I stood up to leave. He said, ‘Oh, you don’t go out with short guys.’ I said: ’No, I go out with all heights. I don’t go out with liars.’ Then I bopped him on the head and got out of there.” ― Mara Marek, a comedian and the host of the podcast “It’s a Maravelous Life”
This post originally appeared on HuffPost.
