But some people thought everyone sucked here:
“I think it’s wonderful that you support your parents so they could retire. So why ESH? Well, your parents now rely on you, and they have a child who’s dictating how they spend their money. I know a lot of people are probably thinking, ‘But it’s not their money! It’s her money!’ If that’s the case, then what we have here is a conditional gift, which is not a gift at all.
You are using your generosity to control your parents’ actions. That’s not fair to them. It doesn’t sound like they have a history of poor financial choices that might warrant an intervention. If this is the case, then you shouldn’t even be looking at what they’re spending their money on.”
“I’m Asian, and I’d say ESH. When OP offered the $1,300 and encouraged her parents to retire, did she tell them she would be dictating how they spend the money? She has every right to do so, it’s her money, but her parents kind of needed to know that up-front before deciding to retire. If they knew she would be auditing their finances, they might have declined and kept working.
And it’s not clear that the brother is definitely using all $200 to get drunk. She doesn’t explain what he said in response to that accusation. I find that unrealistic. More likely, the guy has living expenses he needs to meet, but some of the money goes to blowing off steam. The idea that because you receive support from your parents (or siblings) you have to live like a monk seems overly judgy. How’s he doing in school? If he’s studying in London and doesn’t have rich parents, he’s probably not a dummy. OP should consider being more encouraging and supportive. Sounds like the brother could be a real help later to support the parents, but only if the family relationship stays strong. This episode isn’t helping.”
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