11.
“I waited until 30 to finally settle down and get married. We started trying for a baby immediately; my husband and I can’t see a future without children. We stopped using protection after I had a cervical cancer scare and had my IUD removed, even before we were married. In my follow-up pap to retest for cancer, my doctor asked if I had planned on having kids. That was never a question for me, the answer, even in my younger, wild years, was yes. ‘Well, if you have not been using protection and you have not gotten pregnant yet, you are at the age where you need to start thinking about your options.’ So I went to numerous appointments – I had ultrasounds on internal parts of me that I didn’t even know existed, had the oh-so-wonderful test where they shoot your fallopian tubes full of dye to make sure they are open, my husband had to do his business in a cup, etc.”
“We were then referred to a top-of-the-line fertility specialist, which came with more doctor appointments, more ultrasounds, SO MUCH BLOOD WORK, and as it turns out, I had a uterine septum (a congenital abnormality which affects an extremely small percentage of women, yay me) and was told there was next to no way for me to get pregnant and if I did, I would probably miscarry. I then had a surgery to correct this.
After that came a few rounds of birth control to regulate my cycle, and we tried naturally for a few months. After no luck, we did six rounds of Clomid, and let me tell you, Clomid is the devil. It makes you so hormonal; I cried about literally everything. I cried once because I had to buy dog food. I cried because I ordered food and no longer wanted it when it was delivered. I have friends who have gone through IVF, and they have said that Clomid is worse than doing a full cycle of IVF. I honestly don’t know how my marriage survived this because even I did not enjoy the person I was. Along with Clomid, we did four rounds of IUI. I cried for a year nonstop, gained 30 pounds, and was miserable.
After about two years of this, maxing out the amount of Clomid that one person can take in a lifetime, THOUSANDS of dollars, we decided to take a break. About a month ago (now 33), I went to get my yearly checkup and blood work done, and it turns out my body is producing next to no folic acid, which is not ideal for trying to have a baby. So, the journey begins again. Good luck to everyone out there trying. Miracles happen every day. Hopefully, one is in my future, too.
—Kelsey, 33
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